martinis and ice cream

I finally hear the keys in the front door at 2am (this takes some time). as I'd thought JG would be home around 9pm, sober, I'd already called several emergency departments and one police station. it had crossed my mind that he was probably just out and about getting merry except that he'd gone to a meeting, not the pub...


let me assure the reader at this point, the following scene is nothing like that which my dear Uncle Nick painted on the wall of his studio, him sneaking in the door on wobbly knees (no doubt after a late night card-session with my grandfather), and his wife, Carmel, waiting around the corner with a rolling pin behind her back. I was not armed with any kitchen utensils, or even angry, I was just a bit worried.


eventually defeating the lock, JG stumbles through the door at a 45 degree angle to the floor, his right leg flailing about madly and unable to support his weight.


Me: Where have you been? have you lost your phone? I've been so
worried? what happened to your leg? ... etc.


Him: BABY! I'VE HURT MY KNEE!


Me: ooh let me get you an ice-pack, what happened? ...
fuss-fuss etc.


Him: I don't know. I only had one martini and I think I got
kicked out of the cab. I don't know how far I walked.
(incoherent babbling and giggling)


Me: one martini huh?

...

I made you some banana and honey ice cream.


Him: potato titties! you made me potato titties?


Me: ?

No.

Banana ... and ... honey ... ice ... cream.



Him: oh good, where are they? I'm going to eat potato titties now,
let's have 'em!
(flails around on bed but fails to achieve any degree of
verticality. gives up.)





Banana and honey ice cream (or potato titties, depending on how many bottles of red you had before that martini...)

the addition of cornflour is an attempt to make ice cream in the Turkish style which doesn't generally use cream and achieves texture with sahlab, the powdered root of an orchid, which has starchy, thickening properties. (I'm sure I'll be able to find real sahlab if I bother to look for it...)

2 ripe bananas, pureed
1 litre of milk (hedonists, use half milk, half cream)
1 cinnamon quill
2 tablespoons of dark rum
3 egg yolks
1 tablespoon of caster sugar
3 tablespoons of honey
vanilla (seeds or essence)
1/2 cup of cornflour

bring the milk, cinnamon, rum and vanilla slowly to just below boiling point.

in a separate bowl mix the egg yolks, honey and sugar until the mixture is fluffy and pale.

add the cornflour and continue to mix vigorously until the egg yolk mixture is smooth and creamy.

when the milk is very hot, pour it into the egg yolk mixture in a steady stream (sans cinnamon), beating continuously. you may get a bit of froth-top action- this is ok, it will go away.

return the mixture to the saucepan and heat over medium, stirring continuously.

after it begins to thicken, turn the heat down a little and continue to cook for another 7 minutes or so, to cook the powdery feel out of the cornflour.

cool, then churn in an ice cream machine or freeze and beat with an electric beater every 45 minutes or so, at least 3 times (this method will probably result in a few crunchy ice crystals forming.)